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bra_nutty
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Name: Nutty
Country: United States
State: Missouri
Birthday: 5/12/1986
Gender: Female
Interests: Reading, writing, painting, drawing, acting, debating, etc.
Expertise: Everything? Who are you kidding? I succeed at everything I undertake.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
11/26/2003
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| | The Incredibly Long Survey About You (T.I.L.S.A.Y.) by blue_lightning_angel | | Basics | | Name: | Meagan | | Age: | 21 | | Sex: | Female | | Date of Birth: | May 12 1986 | | Hair Color: | Brown | | Eye Color: | Blue-grey | | Race: | White | | Favorite. . . | | Color(s): | Blue and Grey | | Food: | Brocolli | | Drink: | Limeade | | Television Show: | Bob Ross | | Movie: | Pirates of the Caribbean | | Song: | None | | Artist: | None | | Place to be: | the park | | Stuffed animal: | Bunny | | Pet: | Titus | | Person: | Can't say | | Game: | World of Warcraft | | Clothing brand/style: | Casual | | What do you want in the opposite sex? | | Hair color: | Brown | | Eye color: | Brown | | Tatoos: | Doesn't matter, nothing too obnoxious | | Peircings: | Doens't matter | | Body Type: | built like a stick | | Do they have to be rich?: | no | | Do they have to be popular?: | no | | Personality or Looks?: | Personality | | This or that? | | Pepsi or Coke: | Neither | | Vanilla or Chocolate: | Both | | Black or White: | Grey | | Cats or Dogs: | Dogs | | Sink or Swim: | Swim | | Lake or Ocean: | Lake | | Night or Day: | Night | | Half Full or Half Empty: | Half Empty | | Desktops or Laptops: | Desktops | | Playstation or Xbox: | Playstation | | Summer or Winter: | Spring | | Cold or Warm: | Cold | | Cowboys or Indians: | Hookers | | Lover or Fighter: | Lover | | Car or Truck: | Car | | Cup or Glass: | Glass | | Fork or Spoon: | Spoon | | Walking or Running: | Walk | | The Fast or The Furious: | The Slow and the Collected | | What do you think of when I say. . . | | Soup: | Brocolli and Cheddar | | Wardrobe Malfunction: | UEC Symposium | | Heaven: | Chocolate | | Hell: | Finals | | Cucumber: | Porn | | Salad: | Ranch | | Big Mac: | Vomit | | Sexy: | Not me | | Pirates: | RAWR | | Significant: | Real | | Beautiful: | Not me | | Lion: | Dandy | | Blues Clues: | Bad children's show | | Rainbow: | Happiness | | Cloud: | Happiness | | Rapper: | Ew | | Gangsta: | Lame | | White and Nerdy: | The shiznit | | Lolli pop: | Sexy | | Wave: | Pool | | Fad: | Hoola hoops | | Aliens: | What | | Ghost: | Yeah... | | Survey: | Waste of time | | Do you or have you ever had. . . | | A piercing: | Ears | | A tattoo: | Not yet | | A sibling: | No | | Parents that are still together: | No | | A boyfriend/girlfriend: | Have had, don't have now | | A husband/wife: | Nope | | A child: | No | | A really wild party while your parents were away?: | No | | An alcoholic beverage: | Yes | | A pet of your own: | Yes | | A house of your own: | No | | A car of your own: | Not really | | An iPod: | Yes | | Do you. . . | | Smoke: | Once every three months | | Drink: | Yes | | Do drugs: | I have once or twice | | Hug on the first date: | Sure. Hugs are all right. | | Kiss on the first date: | If I'm reeeeeally attracted to them... um... probably not still, maybe. | | 'Do it' on the first date: | Never | | Shower Daily: | Yes | | Brush your teeth daily: | Yes | | Keep your room clean: | Hahaha... not really | | Do all your homework: | Yeah. | | Plan on going to college: | I'm in college | | Do you believe in. . . | | God/Heaven: | Rain check | | Satan/Hell: | Rain check | | Ghosts: | Rain check | | Aliens: | No | | Witches/wizards: | No | | Magic: | Rain check | | Big Foot/Sasquatch/Abominable Snowmen: | No | | The past life: | No | | Global Warming: | Rain check | | Humanism: | Rain check | | Scienceology: | No | | Hinduism: | Rain check | | Buddism: | Rain check | | Taoism: | Rain check | | Wiccaism: | Rain check | | ~*~Random~*~ | | What's your middle name?: | Marie | | Have any Nicknames?: | Meggy, Meggers, Megra, Meg, Megs, Nutty, Nutters, Nutbutt, Nutbag | | What is your favorite name?: | Nutty | | What do you wish your name was?: | Meagan | | What is your favorite season?: | Spring or Fall | | Do you drink alot of water?: | Not enough | | Do you have a pet?: | I used to. | | Do you have a computer at your house?: | Yes | | Do you live in an apartment, house, trailor or other?: | Apartment | | Favorite place to chill?: | the park | | Favorite place to visit?: | | | Ever have an imaginary friend?: | Frequently | | If so, what was their name?: | which one? | | Ever eaten something really disgusting?: | I made worm spice cake for my zoology class. | | Do you work out?: | I haven't, but I plan on starting this summer. | | Have you ever gotten arrested?: | Nope. | | If so, for what?: | | | Have you ever cheated on someone?: | Never. | | Has anyone ever cheated on you?: | Yes. | | Have you ever kissed a stranger?: | No. | | Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex?: | Yes. | | have you ever gotten drunk?: | Yes. | | Could you ever be a vegitarian?: | Probably not. | | Can you sing?: | No. | | Can you dance?: | Yeah. | | Can you draw, paint, color well?: | All of the above. | | Do you have a job?: | Yes. | | Do you like tape?: | Depends on the brand. | | Do you like glue?: | Glue sticks are good for sealing envelopes. | | Can you solve a Rubik's Cube?: | No. | | How did you like this survey?: | Kind of boring. | Take this survey | Find surveys
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| The loneliest place I’ve ever been was not when I was alone
It was in my room when I was in love with someone who wasn’t in love with me…
The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right next to them, knowing you cant have them
I wish you hadn't kissed me - When you walked me to the door
I wish you hadn't held my hand - And made me want you more
I wish you hadn't whispered - All those sweet things in my ear
I wish you hadn't stroked my hair - Or hugged and held me near
I wish you hadn't smiled - When I opened up my eyes
I wish your touch had not erased all your little lies
I wish there were no little things - Reminding me of you
i WiSh MeMoRiEs WoUlD nOt MaKe Me FeEl ThE wAy I dO
I wish I didn't know that if you called i'd run right over
I wish I could be strong and smart - And give you the cold shoulder
I wish you would have treated me - Like just another girl
Then the nights I spent with you - Would feel like what they were
I wish I hadn't fallen hard - I knew you weren't for real
But I just can't help the way - That being with you made me feel
I wish I wouldn't wake up sad - And know I've dreamt of you
I wish I could get through a day - and never think of you
I wish I could forget - How you took away my fears
I wish I only thought of When you didn't wipe away my tears
I wish that you had been the guy - I hoped that you would be
I wish i could get over you - Like you got over me
I wish that I could see you - For the person that you are
But the heart won't ever listen - Or grant wishes on a star
And I wish that all these wishes -Were full of honesty
But truth be told
I wish that you would just come back to me
which hurts more? thinking you should
hate him or knowing that you don't?
The worst thing a guy can do is make a girl fall for him, without any intentions of catching her.
The way you used to look at me has changed so clearly I can see things will always be awkward between you and me.
I bet you'll never remember the things I'll never forget
I always thought I would look back at the times we cried and laughed
but I never thought I would look back at the times we laughed... and
cry.
play it off like I got nothin to lie about
->nothing<- to [(sigh)] about
but in my heart i know i got somethin to cry about
Everyone sees who I appear to be, but only a few people know the REAL
me, you only see what I choose to show, there's so much behind my
smile, you just don't know
I'll always remember every word he said that broke my heart...
If it didn't really matter you wouldn't be spendin so much time thinkin about it.
I know I shouldn't like him because he doesn't like me back, so I
convince myself I don't...and then I see him and he'll smile or put his
arm around me or just say something, and then all that logic and
convincing myself just evaporates
Whenever I feel like I'm okay with letting go, there's always something there to remind me of a reason why I shouldn't.
Sometimes 2 people who are meant for each other are the last two to realize it.
I never regretted telling you I liked you, the only regret I have is never hearing what you really thought of me.
theres . no . point . in . trying . to . talk . to . you
ive . tried . to . have . a . convo . with . you.
. but . all . that . comes . out.
is . the . empty . feelin . in . my . stomach .
n . it . makes . me . realize
. that . you . will . never . feel .
the . same . way . about . me .
as . I . do . about . you .
Sometimes all i could do
was smile n walk away
hide all my tears and
just pretend im okay
Sometimes you think you've gotten over a person, but when you see him
smile you suddenly realize you're just pretending you're over him to
ease the pain of knowing he will never be yours.
I'd like to believe that maybe someday I'll be over him, that I'll wake
up one morning and not miss him anymore, that I'll finally understand
that when he broke my heart it was for a reason, a reason I just don't
understand yet...but maybe soon. And when I do realize, I'll know
without a doubt that HE messed up and not me...
You say you don't love him, but I see it in your eyes that you want
him, I know that you need him, I can tell by the look on your face when
you see him that you still care, I know somewhere in your hear you wish
he was there.
I'm not over you because I don't like you anymore, I'm over you because
I've realized that you're never going to want me like I want you.
Sometimes I look at you...
And you seem to be looking back at me...
But sometimes you look away...
Like you're afraid of what might happen if you stare a second longer...
Boy just tell me how you feel
cause i can handle being 'just friends'
but i can't handle you leading me on..
I don't know why Im so afraid to loose you, when your not even mine...
I just don't want anyone else to realize how amazing you are...
*You said you would always be there for me... I guess we have a difference in our definitions of always.*
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| I'm posting this here because I'm pretty sure my xanga is safe, as apposed to say... facebook. And a private text file wasn't cutting it. These are all quotes from other people. Not my own. And none of them had explicit authors. They all just sort of resonated with me in some way, though none of them describe how I'm feeling atm. If you want to know how I'm feeling, ask me. I'll be honest, if you want to know badly enough to ask.
I'm always behind the scenes, never the star,
I'm always the friend, never the girl.
Just once, I want to be the girl that's hard to walk away from.
I'm tired of not being enough... not being someone's once in a life time.
You wanna know what the truth is? I still love you...and I probably
will love you for a very long time...but I cant just be your buddy
because as much as I enjoy the concept of being "just friends" in
reality its a bizarre form of torture
All I want is a guy to hold me, kiss me, look at me and say "I love you" and actually mean it!
I don't want to be everything to everyone. I just want to be something to someone.
It's hard to pretend to love someone when you don't. It's even harder to pretend you don't love someone when you do.
I miss you when something good happens to me because you're the one I
want to share it with first...I miss you when something bad happens
because you make everything better..I miss you when I cry because you
kiss my tears away..I miss you when I'm laughing because you make my
laughter grow...I miss you through all those times..But I miss you the
most when I'm lying in bed at night thinkin about you...because before
I always knew someway...somehow...you were thinking of me too..and
thats why its then that I miss you the most..because I'm not so sure
you're thinking about me anymore..
i can't sleep 2nite, im to busy thinking about you, about us. i really
care about you and im so terrified that if i told you my true feelings
about you that i would scare you away. so i hold my feelings in and i
write them down and i hope that one day you'll feel the same way.
If you only knew how much I love you and how much you mean to me, maybe I wouldn't be hurting this bad.
You can't hurt someone unless you really mean something to them.
I want to be the person you fall asleep on the phone with.
And all along, I thought you would be there to let me know I'm not alone but in fact, that's exactly what I was.
I guess to some extent you get used to being alone. You get used
to not expecting phone calls and having nothing to do at night. You
don't expect to turn around to open arms any longer. The small sounds
of him have been replaced by silence. Your thoughts echo through your
head with no one to share them with. Overall being alone isn't
terrible. It just hurts like hell.
I have a boyfriend. He just doesn't know it.
I'm scared that I'm going to end up alone. I'm scared that I'm
always gonna be someone's friend or confidant and never quite
somebody's everything.
If you're not ready to cry, if you're not ready to take a risk, if
you're not ready to feel the pain, then you're not ready to fall in
love.
There must be millions of girls all over the world who never get love letters. I could be their leader.
I've been hurt too many times before and now It's like I'm so
scared to get attached again because I have this fear that every person
I fall for is gonna break my heart.
What's the point of smiling when you have no one to smile for?
And it seems like every time I fall in love...I'm always just "the friend" to him.
When I find a guy who sees what I am, and truly understands me...I'll know I've found the guy for me."
"I want someone to call when I get bored, to sneak me junk food when
I'm sick, to understand that I mean the opposite of what I say, someone
that will know how to cheer me up, that won't have overwhelming
expectations of me, that will feel comfortable around my family, just
someone that truly enjoys my company as much as I enjoy theirs."
"Just once I want to fall and have someone catch me."
"I want someone to say good night to, a last call of the day. I don't have a last call of the day."
"Ya know what I want? I want to be someone's reason for waking up,
someone's reason for going through another day. Just once, I want to be
the one being wished for, I want a guy to say to himself, 'I'm so lucky
to have her.' To put it simply, I want to be someone's everything."'
"I don't need to be wanted; I want to be needed."
"I want someone to share all my secrets with, someone to talk to late
at night when I can't sleep, someone that feels comfortable around my
family, someone to comfort me when I'm scared, to hold me when I'm sad,
someone that doesn't need to say they love me for me to know it's true."
"You know what I want? I want someone who will argue with me over
little things and then won't talk to me for a while. But then after
that, he'll come up behind me and wrap his arms around me and tell me
he's sorry and he loves me. That's all I'm asking for."
Aaaand... I got asked out today by a guy. Ben. I said yes. I don't feel like yes. I don't always need to be attached to someone. I'm not even sure I really want to go. But I'm going to do it. I'm not even over all this other stuff. But I'm still going to do it. And I refuse to regret anything.
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I feel very squeezed empty.
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| And now for a bad poem...
Unrequited Love
Pop tabs pile
on the desk,
twenty or thirty,
sticky and sweet,
a reminder
of how long
I've waited
by the phone.
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